LOOK AT THIS SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER. WHO’S THIS, YOU ASK? SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND PAY ATTENTION, LOSER. 
THIS IS ARCHIE FUCKING GOODWIN AND HE’S THE MOTHERFUCKING “AMANUENSIS” OF NERO WOLFE, GODDAMN. 
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, YOU ASK? YOU THICK FUCK, HE’S A  DETECTIVE. THAT’S RIGHT. HE SHOOTS BITCHES, TOSSES DUMBASSES OUT OF  WOLFE’S OFFICE, EATS ONLY THE FINEST FOODS AND DRIVES ONLY THE SICKEST  CARS. AND THAT’S ALL IN ONE DAY, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. 
HE ONLY DRINKS MILK BECAUSE LIQUOR IS SCARED OF HIM AND HE  TENDS WOLFE’S ORCHIDS BECAUSE REAL PEOPLE ARE TOO IDIOTIC FOR HIS  SUPREME BADASSERY.  SURE, HE’S KIND OF WOLFE’S KEPT MAN, BUT THAT’S ONLY  BECAUSE, SHIT, WIGGER, HE WANTS IT THAT WAY. NO DRAMA, ONLY THE FINEST  SHIT, AND PUTTING WOLFE IN HIS PLACE.
FUCK YES, YOU BETTER RESPECT.  (ESPECIALLY, YOU, CRAMER.)
P.S. HE DANCED YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S PANTIES OFF AND HE TYPED IT UP AT A MILLION WORDS A MINUTE AND PUT IT IN HIS LATEST BOOK. ALSO, HE HAS A PERFECT MEMORY, WHICH IS MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER HAVE. SUCK ON THAT.
Screencap from fuckyeahnerowolfescreencaps

LOOK AT THIS SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER. WHO’S THIS, YOU ASK? SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND PAY ATTENTION, LOSER.

THIS IS ARCHIE FUCKING GOODWIN AND HE’S THE MOTHERFUCKING “AMANUENSIS” OF NERO WOLFE, GODDAMN.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, YOU ASK? YOU THICK FUCK, HE’S A DETECTIVE. THAT’S RIGHT. HE SHOOTS BITCHES, TOSSES DUMBASSES OUT OF WOLFE’S OFFICE, EATS ONLY THE FINEST FOODS AND DRIVES ONLY THE SICKEST CARS. AND THAT’S ALL IN ONE DAY, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

HE ONLY DRINKS MILK BECAUSE LIQUOR IS SCARED OF HIM AND HE TENDS WOLFE’S ORCHIDS BECAUSE REAL PEOPLE ARE TOO IDIOTIC FOR HIS SUPREME BADASSERY.  SURE, HE’S KIND OF WOLFE’S KEPT MAN, BUT THAT’S ONLY BECAUSE, SHIT, WIGGER, HE WANTS IT THAT WAY. NO DRAMA, ONLY THE FINEST SHIT, AND PUTTING WOLFE IN HIS PLACE.

FUCK YES, YOU BETTER RESPECT.  (ESPECIALLY, YOU, CRAMER.)

P.S. HE DANCED YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S PANTIES OFF AND HE TYPED IT UP AT A MILLION WORDS A MINUTE AND PUT IT IN HIS LATEST BOOK. ALSO, HE HAS A PERFECT MEMORY, WHICH IS MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER HAVE. SUCK ON THAT.

Screencap from fuckyeahnerowolfescreencaps

  1. mabfefe reblogged this from fearlessjones
  2. nate1992 reblogged this from fearlessjones
  3. ragetothethunder reblogged this from whiteandblackknight
  4. eye-origins reblogged this from whiteandblackknight and added:
    This is the best post I have ever read.
  5. whiteandblackknight reblogged this from fuckyeahnerowolfe
  6. trivialqueen reblogged this from fearlessjones and added:
    I’ve started Rereading my collection of Nero Wolfe Mysteries… Can you tell?
  7. fearlessjones reblogged this from hotpotatohobbies
  8. hotpotatohobbies reblogged this from fuckyeahnerowolfe and added:
    Oh my goish. Fearlessjones, your post was the very best thing and I’ll remember it to my dying day....
  9. fuckyeahnerowolfe reblogged this from fearlessjones and added:
    I wish I had more Nero Wolfe stuff for my Nero Wolfe blog! :’(
  10. holmesfan reblogged this from fearlessjones
  11. theconnoisseurofshoes reblogged this from fearlessjones
  12. hecatelilithkali reblogged this from fearlessjones
  13. lavender--gooms reblogged this from fearlessjones
  14. bowserbabe reblogged this from fuckyeahnerowolfe
  15. hammandbuble reblogged this from fuckyeahnerowolfe
  16. anza-redstar reblogged this from fuckyeahnerowolfe and added:
    archie ilu i would say “marry me” except you are already married to Wolfe, who would kill me and use me as orchid...